To The End
by Kayleigh Shepard-Alenko
Summary: I was immensely dissatisfied with the outcome of Mass Effect 3, so I decided to write my own Ending. Starting with the beginning of ME2. Mostly through Kaidan's eyes, although I will switch to Shepard at some points. Shenko. M for later chapters.
1. Prologue

_Lieutenant. _Kaidan reached out toward the voice, his fingertips making contact with her soft cheek. _Kaidan._ He groaned as he opened his eyes, trying to adjust them to the bright lights that were suddenly glaring in the cabin. Finally, he's able to focus on her face.

"Shepard? What's wrong?" His brow furrowing in concern, he props himself up on his elbows. "What's the matter?" Shepard's eyes are sad, and Kaidan's heart begins to race, panicking. "Did I do something wrong? Please, Shepard. Talk to me." Suddenly, he was terrified. Why was he so scared? Shepard shakes her head, her mahogany curls bouncing against her cheeks.

_Goodbye, Kaidan._ For a moment, she smiles. His heart begins to calm until her words register in his tired mind.

"Goodbye? What do you mean goodbye?"

Shepard looks curiously at him, as she pulls on her underwear, and then her uniform. _What are you talking about? I said it's time to get up, sleepy head. We have Geth to hunt. Three ships have gone missing in this area recently. _She pauses for a minute, her eyes roaming over his face, her own brow furrowing in concern. _ Are you alright, Kaidan? You seem like you're on edge. Do you need to sit this out?_

Kaidan shook his head fervently, both trying to get his head on straight, and deny her insinuation that he may be unfit for duty. Did he really just imagine that? He watched Shepard silently, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

_Well,_ She interrupted his thoughts, and he realised that she was standing next to the bed, her arms folded across her chest. _It's not that I don't enjoy the sight of you naked in my bed, but.. Well, it's time to get up._ She leaned in to kiss him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Sudden panic gripped him again, and he tightened his hold. Why did this seem so familiar? _Kaidan. You're crushing me. What is up with you?_ He forced himself to release her.

"I'm sorry. I just- I don't know what came over me."

_Well, just meet me in the mess. I'm going to go get some coffee._ As she turned to leave, the panicked feeling rose again in Kaidan's chest.

"Wait. Shepard." He jumped out of the bed, quickly covering himself with the sheet before he reached out to grasp her arm and pull her back to wrap his arms around her. Lieutenant Alenko slid his rough hands up her silky shoulders, taking her face in the both of them. "I love you, Shepard. Kayleigh. I love you." Shepard's face brightened, then darkened almost immediately.

_I love you too, Kaidan. Remember that. Please. Remember me._ His brow furrows in concern again, but he doesn't have much time to think on it, because suddenly he is suited up, and the Normandy is burning.

Shepard! Kaidan grabs his helmet and takes off to where he knows his Commander will be suiting up. The Normandy is in chaos around him as he slips the helmet onto his head. Crew members are screaming, and explosions are going off left and right. He finds her, exactly where he knew she would be, slipping her own helmet over her head. "Shepard!"

_The distress beacon is ready for launch._

"Will the Alliance get here in time?"

_The Alliance won't abandon us. We just need to hold on. _She's futiley attempting to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher, when she gives up and tosses it at him._ Get everyone onto the escape shuttles._

"Joker's still in the cockpit. He won't abandon ship." Kaidan watches her as he turns the extinguisher on the blaze in front of him. "I'm not leaving either." He flinches as she grabs the extinguisher from him.

_I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttles. I'll take care of Joker._ There's another explosion.

"Commander!"

_Kaidan, go!_ She turns back to him._ Now._

Panic wells up in Kaidan's throat, but she has given him a direct order. "Aye Aye, Ma'am." He stares at her for a moment longer, then turns on his heel to make a break for the shuttles. He's ushered all the survivors in, and set launch on the other pods when he finally sits down and pulls the harness over his head. Please.. Shepard. The shuttle launches even as another explosion rocks what is left of the Normandy.

Another escape pod launches. Kaidan's heart leaps, but out of the corner of his eyes, he sees a figure. The N7 insignia is emblazoned across her chest. The Normandy explodes, and Kaidan awakens, screaming.


	2. Chapter 1

Kaidan bolted upright in his bed, sweat clinging to his forehead and bare chest. He could hear someone stumbling around somewhere else in the compound. Every step they took agitated his already growing migraine, and the soft rap on the door was enough to double him over in pain, clutching his head. "Commander Alenko?" The soft voice called from the other side of the door. "Are you okay? I heard shouting." Kaidan wrestled his arms and throbbing head into his shirt and walked over to the door, opening it.

"I'm alright, Lillith. Thank you. Just a bad dream. " The private terminal on his desk flashed with an incoming message, causing him to clench his eyes shut at the intrusive light.

"Another migraine?" The petite brunette's eyes were concerned as she scanned the commander's face. Kaidan sighed. Lillith was a sweet girl, and he knew she had a thing for him, but he just wasn't ready to give Shepard up yet. As much as it tortured him to dwell on her, he couldn't help himself. The disastrous date his friends set him up with on the Citadel had been proof enough of that. He'd tried to have a good time, really, but he felt like he was betraying her. Dead or not.

He glanced at the flashing terminal, trying to resist the urge to clench his eyes shut again. "I'm fine, Lillith, honest. Thank you. But I've got to take this. " Lillith nodded, holding her hands up in a say-no-more gesture and left.

Kaidan hit the incoming message button on his terminal, his head pounding as Councilor Anderson's face appeared in holo. "Commander Alenko, we have received some interesting reports recently, and I apologize for interrupting your investigation into Cerberus' activities, but I thought you might-"

"It's fine, Councilor. What is it?" Kaidan's hands fluttered across his forehead as he bit back a sigh.

"Now I don't want you to get your hopes up or anything. Intel could be wrong, and-" The sigh slipped from his chest before he could stop himself.

"Out with it, Anderson. "

"Sorry, well, we've had reports of people, well, seeing.."

"Councilor! Spit it out!"

"Shepard." Whatever Kaidan had been expecting the human councilor to say, that hadn't been it. He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. Shepard.. Alive? That was impossible. He'd watched her get spaced. He'd sat through countless funerals, and memorials, accepting the flag on behalf of her crew. The only family she had. He glanced up at the shelf, where the flag sat, untouched, and willed his heart to calm.

"Sir, that's impossible. We saw her get spaced. She's gone. If this is some sort of sick joke-"

"Commander! You need to remember who you're talking to. You think that I'd tell you this if there wasn't even a possibility it was true? I've sent a message to her last known extranet address. I've asked her to come in to the Citadel. We'll know soon. Just- Just go on with your duties. Anderson out. " As soon as the Councilor had severed connections, Kaidan slumped back against the end of his bed, sliding to the floor. It was impossible.

Right?

He pushed himself to his feet, staggering over to the shelf the flag sat on. His fingers slid along the edges of the silver display case, and his eyes fluttered shut. Stupid. She was gone. Anderson was right. No use getting his hopes up. But. What if- No. She. Is. Gone. He told himself. He felt fury welling up in him. Who did these people think they were? Claiming to see her. Attention seeking Bastards!

Kaidan's fury unleashed itself in a surge of biotic power. The shockwave sent everything around him flying, including the flag. He cried out in despair, and sunk to his knees, reaching over to pick the display case off of the ground. Tears burned in his eyes as he sat back against the bed, the case clutched to his chest. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Hot tears slid down his cheeks as he allowed himself, finally, to cry over the loss of the woman he loved.


	3. Chapter 2

A few days later found Kaidan wandering around the small complex. He had all but forgotten his conversation with Anderson as he caught up with Lilith. "We've got a problem." He said, his eyes darting around to glance at the suspicious looks the colonists were giving him. He still couldn't understand why they treated him this way, but there was nothing he could do.

"Still can't calibrate the targeting matrix?" Lilith asked, looking up at the Commander.

"Those defense towers are useless if we don't figure it out." Kaidan stopped in his tracks, and looked up at the defense tower not far away from where he stood. Raising a hand to shield his eyes from the sun, he scanned the structure.

"Sorry, Commander, getting our comm. systems back online takes priority."

"Yeah, okay." Kaidan lowered his hand from his face as he turned to look at her once more. "Suprised people haven't tried to blame that one on me too." He was surprised at the amount of hostility in his own voice.

Lilith held out her hands apologetically. "People out here don't trust the Alliance. It's nothing personal." She glanced up toward the suddenly darkening sky, her eyes widening in fear. "What is that?" Kaidan looked up, immediately unholstering his assault rifle. That was the biggest damn ship he'd ever seen. And the black buzzing cloud that was moving rapidly closer to them boded ill. A second glance found that it wasn't a cloud, but a huge swarm of some kind of insect.

He turned his assault rifle on the swarm and fired repeatedly, only taking out a beetle here and there. "Get everyone to the safe house!" Continuing to fire, he glanced at Lilith out of the corner of his eye. "I'll cover you. Run!" He urged.

As Lilith started running with the other colonists, he felt a sharp sting on the back of his neck. Kaidan reached up and grabbed the beetle off of him, flinging it away. _Fucking bugs. _He thought, stepping forward, his assault rifle raised once again.

Suddenly, his limbs locked into place, and his entire body felt as though it had been trapped in a Stasis field. His eyes darted around, but he couldn't really see anything but the swarm of giant beetles around him.

* * *

Kaidan couldn't say how long he'd been trapped in the strange energy field when a voice broke through his consciousness.

"Garrus, He said Kaidan was here."

"I know that, but I don't want you to get your hopes up. We've found so very few colonists so far."

"He's here. I know it."

_Shepard!_ Kaidan did his best to struggle against his constraints, to no apparent avail, when another voice interjected.

"I'm with the Turian on this. No guarantee he hasn't been taken by the Collectors already."

"I don't _care_ Jacob. If he's here, I'm going to find him."

The unfamiliar voice grumbled a bit, something about priorities and how her, and he could hear the resentment in the voice, "past lover" was not one of them. Then there's a pained grunt, as Kaidan assumes Shepard has taken offense to the man's comments.

"You seem to have forgotten what a chain of command is since your stint with the Alliance, Taylor." Shepard hissed seethingly.

"Shepard, as much as I love to see you put Cerberus in it's place, perhaps we should get to the defense towers before more Collectors come to try and stop us." If Kaidan's face could have moved, it would have fallen at the mention of Cerberus. He'd heard rumors, of course, after the ridiculous circulation of the one that she was alive, but he'd dismissed them. Anyone crazy enough to think Shepard would work with Cerberus, was obviously not a very reliable source of information. But then again.. She was, indeed alive.

* * *

Kaidan listened in alarmed helplessness as the Collectors did everything in their power to stop Shepard from fixing the defense towers. He tried desperately to push the stasis field away from himself when he heard one of them taunting her, threatening her by name.

Finally, the ruckus died down, and suddenly, he was free. Without even thinking, he ran straight for the tower. He stopped as he felt the ground tremor with the force of the giant ship leaving the planet. Staring up into the sky, his lips hooked up in a smile. Shepard. Saviour of Elysium, Saviour of the Citadel, Saviour of Kaidan's butt on multiple occasions. _I have to see her for myself._ He thought, anxiously, before walking toward the defense tower once more.

* * *

"No! Don't let them get away!" The mechanic cried as he rushed into the clearing.

"There's nothing we can do. They're gone." Shepard's voice is sad.

"Half the colony's in there! They took Egan and Sam and... and Lilith! Do something!" The mechanic is visibly distressed, and it's all Shepard can do not to slump her shoulders in defeat.

"I didn't want it to end this way. I did what I could." She replies, her voice dangerously close to breaking, although no one but Kaidan could have noticed.

"More than most, Shepard." Garrus insists gently.

"Shepard? "Wait. I know that name." The mechanic pauses for a moment. "Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero."

"Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre." Kaidan pauses to let his heart calm in his chest as he stops in the middle of the clearing. "Saviour of the Citadel." Turning to the distressed mechanic, he tries to quell the swell of pride that he feels talking about Shepard's accomplishments. "You're in the presence of a legend Delan." He faces forward once more, meeting Shepard's eyes with what was both a relieved, and betrayed look. "And a ghost."


	4. Chapter3

"All the good people we lost, and _you_ get left behind. Figures." Delan spat at Kaidan as he rounded on him. "Screw this. I'm done with you _Alliance_ types." The word practically drips venom, and the mechanic is beside himself when he finally leaves. Shepard's eyes narrow and she makes a move to go after him, but Kaidan shakes his head. The man is hurting. No need to seek retribution for words said in desperation.

Kaidan closes the distance between them, and wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly. _Alive._ When he finally releases her, reluctantly, the sound that comes out of his throat instead of words is part hysterical chuckle, part contented sigh. "I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did." The smile on Shepard's face he receives in return is heartbreakingly beautiful.

"It's been too long, Kaidan. How've you been?"

"Is that all you have to say? You show up after two years, and just act like nothing happened?" Kaidan's suddenly defensive. He hadn't expected her to be so nonchalant about all of it. He leans in closer, his eyes blazing. "I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real. I... I loved you." He paused, trying to catch his breath, and fight down some of the feelings of betrayal and hurt that were building inside him, causing his biotics to tingle. "Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that?"

Shepard's smile faltered, and she cast her eyes downward. "I'm sorry, Kaidan. I was clinically dead. It took two years to bring me back." She fought back tears as she raised her head, her eyes shining. "So much time has passed. You've moved on. I- I don't want to reopen old wounds."

Kaidan felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. So she _was_ dead. For whatever sense that made. Oh God, it hurt him to see her upset like this. He just wanted to grab her, and hold her, and give her that 'Everything'll be okay.' That he knew she desperately wanted from him. But he stayed put, folding his arms across his chest. "I did move on. At least, I thought I did. But now we've got reports about you and Cerberus."

"What reports?" Garrus asks, interrupting, partially out of curiosity, and partially because, frankly, the _staff commander_ was starting to piss him off. Kaidan turned to look at the Turian for the first time, nodding in acknowledgment. "Alliance Intel thought that Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. They got a tip this colony might be the next one to get hit." Kaidan looks back to Shepard to see her brow furrowed in thought.

"Our colonies are disappearing. The Alliance turned its back on them. Cerberus is the only group willing to do something about it." She says, regaining some of her confidence.

"You can't really believe that! We both know what Cerberus is like. What they're capable of." Kaidan is practically shouting now, and the guy standing next to Shepard in a Cerberus-fucking-uniform is really starting to grate on his nerves. "I wanted to believe the rumours that you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You turned your back on _everything_ we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed _me." _Shepard visibly flinched as the last part slipped out before he could stop it.

"Kaidan, you know me." Kayleigh pleaded. "You know I'd only do this for the right reason." Her eyes were shining with tears, and as he watched, one spilled over onto her long eyelashes. "You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies, and they're working with the Reapers." Her tone is almost desperate now.

"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you." The guy in the Cerberus uniform steps forward, and opens his mouth to speak, but Kaidan glares dangerously at him, and Shepard holds out her hand, dismissively. It was her trademark 'don't-butt-in-I-can-handle-it-myself' wave. Back in BAaT, they'd called it 'Talk-to-the-hand.' It was childish, but endearing.

"You're letting how you feel about their history get in the way of the facts." She insisted.

"Maybe. Or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight." Several tears run down Shepard's cheeks, and Kaidan is fighting the urge to hold her and kiss them away. He has no right. He caused them. And he still couldn't bring himself to stop. "You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier. Always will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not." Kaidan turned his back on her, trying to will his traitorous legs to carry him away from her. Away from the pain and betrayal.. and shame he felt for treating her the way he did.

"Kaidan. Please." Her voice breaks, and he refuses to turn back, knowing that if he does, his resolve will break, and he'll sweep her into his arms.

"Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful." He said, calmly, and he finally forced himself to walk away. As he's leaving, he can hear the soft, strangled sob that forces its way out of her throat.

"J-Joker. Send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

And suddenly, he isn't sure who is the traitor.


End file.
